he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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