There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
