Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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