I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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