I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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