Plan B is the new Plan A
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
