ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
