Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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