I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
