so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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