Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
