My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
