this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
tequila makes me forget i have legs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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