I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
