Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
