Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
