At least make sure they are 18
Why
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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