your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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