u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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