That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
