and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
