Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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