I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
