holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
As shirtless as possible
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
