You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just high enough for therapy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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