But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
