Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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