I wish I could teleport
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
