Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
