you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
