Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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