tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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