Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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