Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
