The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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