Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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