I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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