brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
