id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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