Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
