only if we run a train.
done.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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