so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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