I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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