i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
