So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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