She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
