she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
