Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
