i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
