dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
