If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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